Day Forty-Nine
I debated if I should even post these.
They’re blurry. Out of focus. Nothing to see in them.
But then it occurred to me. This is how I’m seeing right now. This is how much of the world I can see, so why not show you?
This morning I went for a walk, hoping to get some photos of the birds. I could hear the crows, the mourning doves. But I couldn’t see them.
My eyes are still hurting. I still have the old prescription.
The longer I have to wear these, the longer I can’t see, the more depressed I get. I start to think this is going to be it. Everything I love to do: reading, writing, photography, driving, working, it’s all over now.
I know I catastrophize, but losing my vision is a very real possibility for me.
I feel very hopeless right now. I feel very alone in all this. The surgery I had almost eleven years go was the worst decision I ever made. Nothing good came of it. Not one thing. It changed my life is so many ways, made my life so small.
This is how I see things right now.
